I am quite the introvert. I avoid situations where I would draw attention to myself. I find it very difficult to talk to people that I don’t know well. I can’t call out in class and don’t even get me started on ordering food in a restaurant. My point is, due to this I spend a lot of time in my own company… and that’s okay.
There is a HUGE difference in being alone and being lonely. We experience both. Personally, I love being alone. I feel most comfortable when I’m by myself. I can just chill out and not have to listen to anyone making comments about ‘munching’ my food or ‘sitting like a lady’. I can just sit in my pj’s without having to worry about what someone else is thinking of me. I enjoy days off school because I get the whole house to myself for a few hours. It’s just me and my dog and it’s bliss.
With that being said, there are definitely times when I feel lonely, and these times are not as appealing. I find that I feel this way on days when my mental health game isn’t at its best. The feeling often comes late at night, when I’m trying to lull myself into a dream. I can only describe it as a sudden feeling of complete isolation. The world seems slightly darker, colder somehow. It can be quite crippling, one minute you’re fine and the next you feel like there is no one in the world that enjoys your company.
I often find myself wondering “why do I let this feeling consume me?” and it all boils down to the fact that I’m all too good at listening to a negative little voice in the back of my head that tells me I’m not good enough. No one will ever like me enough. I’m no one’s first choice… you get the picture.
But I don’t have to feel like this. I have so many people I can turn to when I feel lonely. Friends, family, pets. Loneliness doesn’t have to be a part of my day, because ultimately I can make it so.
Bottom line is, I love being alone, but I don’t like being lonely. No one does and it’s important to know the difference between the two.
Do you enjoy spending time alone? How do you spend your free time when you finally have a couple of minutes to yourself?
Until next time…